I dunno, I never thought I was the poetry type, nor did I ever think I’d be into reading. It’s strange how you change,I mean it blows my mind how much I’ve changed, I always thought I’m just simple I still feel dumb as I’m not good with words i.e. Talking, I get brain freezes and forget words. I completely get so fucked off with myself. I think it’s gotten worse with living in another country to be honest. Anyways I’m always in the library and my fingers keep sliding through the poetry shelf and I picked a cracker today ( a good book) Charles Bukowski. I fucking can’t put it down. I relate to him,well I feel I do. Going from job to job meeting all these characters from all sorts of life.i feel from the ages of 15-23 I lived a middle age persons life struggling for money going from job to job, going to art school,night school, juggling 2/3 jobs trying to figure out how to educate myself and have a good life as well as paying board, then hitting the dark fun path and leaving the struggle of northern life behind.

So I’m new to America values and politics. I’ve been reading a little about Americas part in the viet nam war,as all I knew was the French had control on the war. That really wasn’t the case. Anyways I wanted to understand the part America played in distroying the country. So first off I’m getting to know “tricky dicky” and tricky he is. 

Now I love history and I’ve been upping my game on the “Americas”history.  I’ve always been interested in how the whole becoming of the “United States of America”, it’s a dirty history. now it seems that history from the 20th (1900s) century got a lot more complicated and soo sophisticated. I knew about the Jim Crow law a little and thought once the civil war was over it just got dismantled. This isn’t the case. This book is blowing my mind chapter by chapter, it’s giving me a whole new view of America. “Freedom for all?” I don’t know about this….. There’s good changes happening, don’t get me wrong but I feel there’s a lot of sinister strategy keeping each color groups apart.

  Dedicating  my first project to the hustle Hoe life and I had a dark side too, I just thought things where fine n dandy but I wasn’t being true to myself.

  

  

  

Playing around with wax.  

i have to say these past two weeks have become so mentally draining due to constantly reading and thinking about war. I don’t know how presidents/ prime ministers sleep. They have a hard job and I completely understand now what we are trying to defeat “terrorism” and I have to say we don’t see much light on the Middel east wanting to be like the western world but we are pirates and we will take and fight until we’ve wrecked and drained the place and that’s what’s happening now and these extremist groups will keep poping up until there isn’t a race living there anymore, but in the meantime they have started groups all over Europe and America to fight for sharia law.  

 

It’s very strange as I’m only truly comfortable with taking selfies with my clothes off. But there’s so many of me with no clothes on,I want to show off my clothes now but I find it so hard taking a selfie with clothes on. So I’m practicing selfies with clothes on. I know this is such an interesting post… I know it’s shit but I like my clothes so I wanna show them off and of course myself!

  

 project fiction/ non fiction…. Alright so me and a fellow artist/sculpture/ photographer are collaborating together on a delightful dark book.and we’ve been experimenting on my face and I’ve been doing well… Getting my spray painting on!these I don’t know if they’ll be used as I was using these as testers as I don’t plan what I’m doing with the faces I just pick a spray can n then just flow n see what I turn out with.

 

I know I haven’t been posting a lot as,well I’m doing projects here n there while having a family.so I’m juggling around and finding my current beat if you will. Anyways I’ve always been into a bit of war, I mean my dad was a high up sergeant and my mother was in the TA, bish, bash, bosh I was made.The thing that got me was the 9/11 terrorist attack and I can still remember coming home from my first week at big school(year 8) and being fixated on the bbc news until I had to go to bed. And I saved all the newspapers from the next day till maybe November time.

Anyways there’s so many people with opinions and most don’t ever know what they are talking about and I don’t want to be in that category! So I decided to save the gulf war for another time and so I’ve started on the Al Qaeda/ saddam/ bush Administation situation.To kinda get an understanding on the Isis and the Middel east as a whole as its all mingled and connected together.