All of a sudden into poetry.

I dunno, I never thought I was the poetry type, nor did I ever think I’d be into reading. It’s strange how you change,I mean it blows my mind how much I’ve changed, I always thought I’m just simple I still feel dumb as I’m not good with words i.e. Talking, I get brain freezes and forget words. I completely get so fucked off with myself. I think it’s gotten worse with living in another country to be honest. Anyways I’m always in the library and my fingers keep sliding through the poetry shelf and I picked a cracker today ( a good book) Charles Bukowski. I fucking can’t put it down. I relate to him,well I feel I do. Going from job to job meeting all these characters from all sorts of life.i feel from the ages of 15-23 I lived a middle age persons life struggling for money going from job to job, going to art school,night school, juggling 2/3 jobs trying to figure out how to educate myself and have a good life as well as paying board, then hitting the dark fun path and leaving the struggle of northern life behind.


  1. Jon Donnelly · September 12, 2016

    Hi Ava. Not sure how bothered you are when you can’t recall words that you want to use in mid-sentence. There are cognitive enhancers called nootropics, or smart drugs, and they help in a less invasive way than say, Adderall, to have better focus on a task(MY biggest issue!). Or to always be able to remember the words that you’re going to use. Here are a couple links – I am not affiliated in any way with any of these products. I’m just a fellow evolver with lots of curiosities.

    There are tons of others once you start looking. Happy exploring! Feel free to ask me if you have questions.

    Have a great day,


    • avadalush · September 15, 2016

      Mate im not taking any drugs lol


      • Tim McDonald · September 16, 2016

        Done my film degree, given up the Scoobie Snacks now I ‘gotta put my money were my mouth is. Good luck Ava- p.s Tarrantino said ‘I never went to film school: I went to films’ bye x


      • nacherman · October 20, 2016

        Ha! Bukowski is great, isn’t he. I’m re-reading this now after seeing your post. This is one of those books I turn to when I want to make sense of my life. I dip in and out when things get tough.


  2. Tim McDonald · September 16, 2016

    Hello just seeing if this will go through. I always wondered why you didn’t try and go straight into media presenting. Trust me I know its difficult: I done film degree and they don’t just hand out jobs at the jobcentre. take care Ava


  3. Charles · September 19, 2016

    What a coincidence it is! I returned to England after a fortnight in Germany, where I took part in a poetry reading picnic in the forest on the banks of the river Elbe, where a participant read a poem by Charles Bukowski:

    On that morning I heard poetry in the mother tongue of participants from Ukraine, Romania, India, Italy, Slovakia, Greece, Poland, Netherlands, Brazil and Germany. My Californian colleague’s reading was my introduction to Bukowski’s very powerful statement. I can understand why reading his volume of poetry is so compelling.

    Having spent some of my youth and time as a student in Leeds, I read Tony Harrison’s “Book Ends.” It was the perfect day for poetry and a picnic!


  4. misieg7 · September 24, 2016

    hi Ava. do you plan to have children? if yes – what will you tell them about your porn-industry job?


  5. Bill · October 25, 2016

    Try the short poem The Clothes of Heaven by WB Yeats. It’s a moving one for someone like me from the Northwest


  6. Peng · January 13, 2017

    Despite not into poetry much, may I suggested a book called “The Hero’s Journey” written by Joseph Campbell and Phil Cousineau?


  7. nottmdude · April 30, 2017

    Hey Ava, where are you ? IG and twitter gone?


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